Reproduced in full and unedited - not summarised, not tightened, not rewritten in a house voice.
Rachel Ehrhardt, LPC, MSCP
I am a Board Certified Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) with a Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology (MSCP) from Chatham University in Pittsburgh PA.
I am currently in training to be Gottman Method therapist - completion of Level 1: Passed the exam. This method has been deemed and scientifically proven to be the most effective treatment for couples in relationships.
I am working toward the credential of Sex Therapist. The credential is: Certified Sex Therapy Informed Professional (CSTIP).
In the fall I will be attending the Ackerman Institute for the Family; for further certifications.
It is important to me for people to know who I am. To know me a bit before choosing me. I have 26 years (since 1999!) with experience working with individuals with a whole host and multitude of impairments in various clinical settings. I have worked with many populations in a vast range of settings: Prison. Inpatient. Outpatient. Psychiatric Wards. Schools. With children. 1/2 way houses. 3/4 houses. Alternative Housing. Nursing homes. With Deaf & Blind people. Vocational Development for individuals with Developmental, Intellectual, and Physical Disabilities. For 10 years I took people in wheelchairs & intellectual disabilities on field trips for adventure & respite through Exceptional Adventures based on Coraopolis PA.
I work with individuals one-one one, and with couples. I do not work with children or teenagers - full disclosure, frankly I am not very good at it. To take on those cases would be such a disservice to those people and unethical to operate outside my scope of expertise, interest, and competence.
Much of my career has been in Substance Abuse Treatment, including a decade in a Prison, with frankly, a rough crowd. People that were anxiously waiting to get back to their real life, their families, and out of the spider-web of Addiction and the Crime associated with it. They have lost so much - are at their lowest point in their lives - desperate to feel better, be better and live better. To break the cycle of addiction and criminal activities that have been in their family, their community, and a culture that may have taught or condoned these behaviors. To extend my hand to them and help them get back up on their feet - I consider to be a tremendous honor. To carry their secrets - the things they have never told a single soul their entire life - is very sacred to me. Some of my methodologies and direct nature are no doubt born of those experiences. You will see this in my personality.
I consider myself as an "Educator", as well as a therapist. As I teach a lot of skills - the biggest thing I put the most emphasis on is THOUGHTS. It's all about the thoughts. Most of us have thoughts that are in some way inaccurate, flawed, based on assumptions, what we were taught to thinks, fears, and cognitive distortions. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is the gold standard for addressing and fixing toxic thoughts.
Our brains naturally fill-in-the-blanks when we don't understand something. So I teach people to examine their thoughts - see what parts may be inaccurate (thus making them unhealthy) and essentially go back to the drawing-board with establishing more accurate thinking patterns. And we need to find the facts, look at & see if there is any evidence to dispute the faulty thought? Is it based in reality & likelihood? And we need to honor the evidence that either does or does not support the thought in terms of its factuality.
For a lot of issues, I am a Solution Focused Therapist. This modality + my nature is very straight-forward. It's something that I am good at and often why people choose to specifically work with me. They are done suffering. This is a good approach for people who want to get to the root of the problem rather quickly. Then seek the solution and implement it right away. People are tired of suffering.
As the expression goes "If nothing changes, nothing changes". And that is no longer an acceptable way to live. Doing it “your way” has kept you in the same holding pattern, repeating the same arguments, same destructive patterns. Note that this treatment modality is not the way relationship counseling treatment is addressed.
Relationship Counseling requires a lot of sensitive and delicate therapeutic interventions, the Gottman Method being the ideal approach - it is scientifically backed via 40 years of research doing longitudinal studies of over 40,000 couples. These pioneers & experts are Dr. John & Dr, Julie Gottman.
Therapy and healing is a process. An experience. It takes time, practice and repetition to create new ways of thinking. What you do during the time between sessions can really help and speed the process along. I send worksheets as homeowork, articles to read, videos to watch etc...
We have to learn healthy Autopilots to replace those Knee-Jerk reactions that cause harm. We have to unlearn a lot of unhealthy/toxic autopilots, especially the learned behavior we carry with us from our childhood. Must unlearn and relearn what is healthier, safer, and aligns with our goals. In the words of Yoda "You must unlearn what you think you know".
I do put it out there that I am very direct & goal oriented. I am bold and share my honest clinical assessment and feedback on where the disconnects are - if that is what a patient asks for....and most do. What & Where improvements need to be made, by whom, and How. Honesty about the situation needs to be said, by someone (which that someone is me)....or nothing will change. To hold back what needs to be said, that is a disservice to you, and not how I operate. I am clear with people about this, call it a disclaimer if you will. I am selective about take cases I take. People open to acknowledging their shortcomings, whom are willing to work hard, crave the enlightenment that comes from knowledge of the truth, want evidence-based resolutions backed by research, and will take my interventions and wisdom seriously. I can be honest, direct, bold - while still being polite and sensitive at the same time.
If we are honest, time & money seem to be 2 luxuries no one has anymore. With that said, working with me is very different than laying down on the Proverbial “Freudian Couch” for years on end.
Generally - by the time I am invited into someone's life, the research shows that it's been about 6 years of procrastinating, hoping/praying things get better. By the time someone makes an appointment - they have been suffering for a quite a long time. Desperate for relief and to get back on track.
Many people have told me over the course of my career “Making the 1st appointment was the hardest part”. There is a lot truth to that. There is actually a Phenomenon where people start to feel better knowing they have an appointment on the books. They finally got out of their own way (sadly most people/couples take 6 years). But just knowing that help is on the way, that major hurdle gone. In that sense, there is relief regarding having finally made a decision to do it, as waiting for things to change on their own simply hasn’t proven to be the case.
I do a lot of my work in Marriage & Couples Counseling using the Gottman Method. Many couples have come to a crossroads of trying to decide to either to work it out and stay together…or go their separate ways. Some aren’t sure - but know something’s gotta give, and soon or "like now!".
Most relations are salvageable. There are only 3 true deal breakers that signify that the marriage is (and should) be over. Those 3 are:
(1) Perpetual Domestic Violence
(2) When one partner wants to have children and the other does not
(3) A partners refusal to get help with an addiction. The key word there is "refusal" - addiction itself is not necessarily a deal breaker because it can be treated. It's the "refusal" that makes it unsalvageable.
So as long as none of those 3 deal-breakers are plaguing your relationship - I promise you that there is a chance to get back on track, stay on track, and stay together. Note that it is a lot of work both inside and outside the session. There is no quick-fix.
Being stagnate is no longer a viable option. And receiving professional counsel prior to an enormous decision about the future of the relationship is smart, respectful of the relationship and your partner. There are new things to try, some grey-areas that are worth exploring. I am a huge proponent of leaving no stone unturned. Especially when children are involved.
With couples, almost 100% of the time the issue is around 2 things:
1) Communication
2) Intimacy
When communication breaks down and someone's needs are not being met - intimacy is usually the first thing that goes out the window. It always comes down to one’s needs not being met. And though the other partner may want to meet their partner's need, or is trying to meet their needs - they just don’t know "how". Or they have not yet come to understand the "why" a particular need is so important. They may even feel that the need is dumb - therefore causing a resistance and stubbornness about providing the help. And that is cruel - to deny someone what they need because you don't agree that it should be need, or the need is dumb. The motto you need to adopt is this: IF IT IS IMPORTANT TO THEM - IT’S IMPORTANT TO me. That's the bottom line.
We have to shift our mindset about our partner - they usually are NOT being lazy or malicious - they just don’t know, or understand. In spite of perhaps you telling them repeatedly. They don’t fully grasp it…yet. In other words, sometimes, they are not intentionally trying to deny us our needs. They don’t get it- yet - but they will. That's my job and I to see to it.
One of the beauties & mysteries of why therapy works for couples is with my intervention, there is often a “I told you this a million times!!!”….type thing which is incredibly frustrating to the partner whose been saying the same thing for years and years. But somehow miraculously when I say it to them - it's as if they are hearing it for the very first time. It’s brand new information! (to them).
It's because it is someone other than their partner. This time, it's me, a person with credibility. That combined with the specific words I use , my tone, my gentleness, and my in-depth explanation of the science of it all. My tone, my delivery, my frankness paired with autenticity....it all matters. I am able to harness peoples' attention and get them to actually hear and listen and comprehend. That’s one of the beauties & mysteries of why therapy works. Hearing it from a non-biased mediator (who is not their partner) makes it resonate in a new way, it sinks in, or finally clicks for them. A manner in which that coveys the importance and clarity that’s different and effective.
And it's like a light-bulb turning on. The “aha moment” as they call it. Sometimes the partner of the one that initiated the therapy comes to me seemingly oblivious that their marriage is on the line. I wake them up to see the depth, and scope and gravity of the situation. THAT in and of itself goes a long way.
So, once we get the other person to finally listen & hear & comprehend, we can finally start to get somewhere. We can identify what the “needs” are, why they are so important and can immediately start meeting them. And it is important to mention that nothing will be achieved if either partner is defensive. These conversations can only take place during a period of time that is calm with no one in a fight/flight/freeze state physiologically and mentally.
Nothing good happens when people are defensive. Why? There is not a lot of cognitive processing going on - the person is so consumed by their physiological state that has hijacked their brain. They can’t hear you!
I teach a lot about the gender differences. It is astounding not only how different men & women really are - we are wired VERY differently than each other. Example: Men are naturally inclined to "fix things". When a man can't "fix it" generally he experiences frustration which gets displayed in ways that look like anger. So I teach men how to better understand women. What she needs, why she needs it, and how to go about meeting her need. I strive to eliminate "the middle man" - which are things like confusion, anxiety, and feeling rejected.
I teach women about how men are wired in general, what men generally need to feel a sense of accomplishment, what he needs from her, how to really help him understand why she is at her breaking point. How all of this factors into their dynamic, which has become dysfunctional over time in many ways. I help her figure out how to meet his need, why he needs it, etc... The key to all of this - understanding. Understanding leads to insight. Insight leads to empathy. Once there is empathy....that's when the good stuff happens.
Couples tend to see progress right away.....when & IF they are willing to work hard. When they stop doing what doesn't work....which is what brought them to me in the 1st place. When they actually follow my guidance and implement my teachings. And it's often changing little subtle things. What we perceive as those “little things”….have more weight and importance than we had realized. The goal in conversations that conflict surrounded them is not what you may think. The "goal" is not to Solve the problem. The goal is in fact: Understanding how the other person feels about the problem. The solutions comes much later.
I am a mom of 3, so I’m am warm & fuzzy & as call myself “fluffy” and very silly. My children are 15, 10 and 8 (Boy -Girl -Boy). By the way, I carried all 3 babies/pregnancies through my time working in the Prison. That tells you a lot about my personality. I was unphased by this, never once afraid. Believe it or not - I felt safer there than walking down the street. Surprisingly - Inmates were incredibly protective of me, more so than one would imagine.
I am married to my husband of 16 years whom is also a Clinician (Craig Ehrhardt). My favorite color is Yellow. A big fan of Star Wars, favorite activity is going to Thrift-Shops, and simply being in the sun. My favorite foods are Eggplant Parmesan, Cheesecake, Porterhouse
Steak (medium rare) and Bacon. Favorite shows are/were The Office, Breaking Bad and “How it’s Made”. Hobbies are keeping up with research on Neuroscience and playing Chess. Really anything that involves Critical and Analytical Thinking - my mind is never at rest.
My childhood idol was Mother Teresa- and is still my idol to this day. I try to emulate her values and instill that unconditional-kindness in my children. (Note: I like to follow up that statement with saying I am in no way religious or affiliate with any faith or church. I am spiritual and do believe in something bigger than me. I’m partially convinced that the Matrix is real).
Every Christmas me and my 3 children make pillows to distribute to the Homeless. We walk around Downtown Pittsburgh handing out pillows. Our family motto is: “Be grateful, not greedy”.
I am a mom, working full-time, and enrolled in school - so and I know how hard it is to multitask in this day and age. To do it all. Be all to all people. To make sacrifices day in and day out. I also know how critical Self-Care is. You and your well-being needs to be your priority right now, and exploring therapy does count as Self-Care.
I like to say "You will never find time, you have to MAKE time". So make the time, make the investment in yourself and let's get you on the schedule.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I have been told that other clinicians' bio's are just a few sentences. That's just not how I operate. Something that is very important to me is that people see and know who I am. Not just as a clinician - in addition to know who I am as a person. It is very important for you to feel safe with and have a connection to your therapist. So with this information, hopefully it will allow you to decipher if you think we will click. And I am always eternally grateful to those that choose me. That feels like an honor to be given the opportunity to help you.
Rachel Ehrhardt, LPC, MSCP
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ALSO: "Live Chat" is a wonderful option for many people. It offers a certain degree of discretion that can be done anywhere. Sometimes people do not want their partner, children or coworkers to overhear. It can be done at your desk at work, which people enjoy because they “look like” they are working. Lunch breaks seem to be a thing of the past, and we have no time, as I said before - something’s gotta give! Chat is good for if you have to be in a loud place, or have a sleeping baby! Many people whom travel use it when they are at an airport, bus, noisy place etc.. For people whom are highly anxious, it's more relaxing and feels like less pressure. For all of us that have to muilt-task (we have no choice!). And thanks to the surge in people working from home post-pandemic - we have more flexibility during the day. Options like this exist now, and people love the "Live Chat". We can see eachother typing, in real time. It's great!
Rachel Ehrhardt, on the BetterHelp listing · read 7 Nov 2026